W is for What I Wish I Knew Then

What I wish I knew then...

Like most people, I knew everything when I was 18. So I'm not sure I can explain how I've learned so many things since then. There is a long list of lessons learned that I wish I could go back and pound into that 18 year old brain of mine...

Like... life doesn't have to be a rat race. Slow down. Because before you know it you'll be old and looking back wondering where the time went.

Like... losing your temper doesn't make anything better and often makes things worse.

Like... even though your parents were sometimes wrong, they were usually right, and they always had the best intentions. Parenting is hard!

Like... keeping up with the Jones' ain't all it's cracked up to be. There will always be somebody who has more and you will just keep wanting more and more of the things in life that don't really matter. Better to focus on what is important to YOU.

Like... if you're gonna go to college, get a degree that will actually help you get a better job than you can get with only a high school diploma.

Like...going to church isn't just for old people; it's being in church twice a week that keeps my head on straight the rest of the week, and to heck with people who think you can't be a Christian and still be cool 'cause they don't know you!

Like... when people scoff at something in which you truly believe, it's okay to stand up for it anyway. In fact, you should stand up for it anyway.

And so on and so forth.

I polled some friends on Facebook about what they wish they had known at 18 and I got some great answers:

• Credit cards are a bad idea.
• Jealousy is not love. (My own comment on this: neither is lust.)
• Start investing now for your retirement, and don't dip into it for anything.  
• It's okay to learn from your parents' mistakes; you don't have to make them yourself to learn the lesson.
• Serious relationships need not be a priority until you have time to figure out who you really are.
• The directions on your birth control are there for a reason. 
• Your parents were teaching, not preaching.
• Student loans may not be as good as they seem. Proceed carefully or you may regret it later.
• Marrying someone who wants to be a rockstar, doesn't mean you will ever be a rockstar's wife.
• Smoking isn't as cool as you think it is. You stink. And you'll regret by the time you're old enough to drink legally.
• 18 is really NOT that old.

What do you know now that you wish you knew when you were 18? Leave a comment with your words of wisdom to your 18 year old self! Or tweet your advice with hashtag #knowitall. Looking forward to what you have to say!

Click here for a full list of my posts and a list of participating blogs in the 2013 A to Z Challenge!

The Real Deal

Tonight I am dealing with disappointment on so many levels that my normally tough shell is starting to develop hairline fractures. I can feel it cracking, and it makes me sad. 

I normally live by and share often with others the idea that all thing happen for a reason and therefore there is no reason to worry about how things will work out in the end. Even when things don't end like we wanted or expected, we learn and grow as a result. Everything that happens to us in life is an opportunity and a blessing and when things don't happen at all...well, they just weren't meant to be. This usually gets me through even the toughest days.

But today I was feeling a little neglected (and wondering if I might be getting ignored actually) by a man that has recently brought much happiness into my life. I'm not sure why he would do such a thing because, even if he didn't want to continue the relationship, he could simply tell me. Perhaps this is an over-reaction on my part and tomorrow will bring an explanation that makes perfect sense and I will feel really stupid for getting anxious today. In the meantime, I'm feeling very disappointed at not getting any attention from this guy today. Maybe that's selfish and silly?

Anyway, once I started feeling bad, I got into a groove. You know what I mean..."misery loves company!" I started thinking about all of the things that are wrong with my life at the moment and having a very nice pity party thank you very much. This is not something I normally do. In fact, I typically despise this sort of attitude and believe that "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." But I guess we can't all be strong all of the time. 

So I started thinking about how I have to move soon because my home is in foreclosure and I don't have enough money saved if I needed to move tomorrow. I heard a noise from my engine, a noise that has become familiar and worrisome lately, as we drove down the road and thought about how I wish I had money to put my truck in the shop and fix whatever is wrong with it (or better yet buy a newer vehicle, preferably one that gets more than twelve miles per gallon). I really had it going right? But I didn't stop yet. 

Then I started thinking about how men like to be "just friends" with me. I've gotten along with the opposite sex better than my own for most of my life. I can fit right in as one of the guys. No problem until you get really lonely and want some real companionship, somebody to snuggle and watch a movie with, someone who will let you lay your head on his chest and just be there when you feel down, a person who will hug you and hold you. Maybe I found someone like that recently, but now I'm not sure...but most of the men I meet just want to be my friend, and oddly enough actually mean it. We end up being buddies and I enjoy their company and one of them is actually one of my very best friends. But I digress...

I know I need to get myself out of this slump. I feel tears building deep down inside and I know that if I do this long enough they will rise and rise and eventually spill and I absolutely do not want to go there. I know that many of my friends will say things like "what were you thinking" or "you need to swear off men for a while" or "have some more wine" and those things will not make me feel better today. Or they will say "you just gotta have faith," which I know to be true, but in my present mood I am not feeling it and that is the problem, not the answer. 

So I texted a friend that I haven't known for very long, someone that has a great smile and a generally upbeat attitiude, someone I have come to admire for exactly that. I told him (Yes him, I told you guys just wanna be my friend) that I really just needed someone objective to lend me an ear for a few minutes and help me turn my mood around. I asked if we could meet for coffee somewhere because I really needed a friend right now. And guess what?

He didn't reply. 

Hours went by and nothing. Not even a "sorry I really can't right now" or even a "hell no I don't wanna hear your problems." Great. Now I really feel like that pile of brown stuff that my dog left in the cold wet yard this afternoon. What now? 

I decided that perhaps I could distract myself. I did some laundry, checked emails and actually took care of the many requests for this and that they contained, played some music on Spotify, got on Facebook (where I experienced much more disappointment after reading many posts about how terribly people had behaved), walked the dog, got back on Facebook, checked on my blog...

Alas, I am sitting here still. But tomorrow is a new day. And this one has taught me much. Hopefully tomorrow will come with a new attitude, a renewed sense of faith, and superglue in the cracks of my shell. Maybe tomorrow.

My son just texted me that the birthday gift I sent him was by far his favorite birthday gift. That made me smile.

Isn't it amazing what a few words said or unsaid can do to your day?

"Last Ounce of Courage"

I got an email today from a friend about a movie that will be released September 14, 2012. Curious to see what this movie was about, I watched the trailer. I will be looking for it in one of our local theatres this weekend!

"Last Ounce of Courage" is a family-friendly movie about a family who lost a son/father in combat. As they learn how to move on with their lives, they realize that they have become complacent. This movie celebrates and defends values such as family, freedom, and faith.

Watch the trailer in its entirety and let me know what you think of this new film. Will you be looking to see it? Go to www.lastouncethemovie.com to see if and when it's playing near you.