At the root of all of this is the decision to change into the person that I want to be. That meant a change in the way I make other decisions. With every new situation, I now have a new way to look at that situation and decide how to proceed. My former self would often look at the neighbors and see what they were doing, think about what my family and friends would expect me to do, and contemplate how my husband or children would react to my decision. It doesn't take a genius to see the flaw in that line of thinking. I had left out those that should have been the two biggest influences in my decision-making: God and myself.
I made an intentional change to base my decisions on what I think, what I know, what I believe, and what the Bible says, what God would want for me.
A small example: When I wanted a garden, I took into account the best way to keep my pets out of it, make it easily accessible for me and the kids, have it blocked off from the rest of the yard, etc. Turns out the best spot was in the front yard, just off the porch. What did the neighbors think? I don't know. I didn't ask.
A big example: When my husband left me, I took into account the way I felt about his leaving, the way our relationship had been from beginning to present, the probable future if he came back and if he didn't, and what would make me happy. Should I plead with him to keep trying or let him go? If he asked to come back should I let him or refuse? I looked to my Bible and my Church family for guidance and I prayed and prayed. Everyone had their opinions. I listened quietly and knew that I would make my own decision. I am now a single mother. And quite happy.
|My amazing daughter and I|